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TIP #9

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With every fiber of your being, don’t become familiar with your spouse by taking them for granted.

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     This trap is easy to fall into. We all have done it, and if we haven’t, we probably will. Not that we do it intentionally–well, at least not most of us–but as the old adage goes… "familiarity breeds contempt." Simply put, the closer you get to or the longer you've known someone or something... it will eventually lead to a loss of respect for them/it.

     Wives, it’s easy to take for granted when your husband works hard to provide for you and the family, buys you gifts, etc. You should never find yourself complaining about what you don’t have. Husbands, sometimes it’s easy to forget to appreciate when your wife cooks and cleans. Don’t just throw dishes in the sink or leave your things throughout the house because you know she’s going to pick them up.

     We must also be careful not to make the mistake of being more eager and willing to do something for someone else than we are for our own spouse. For instance men, you shouldn't volunteer to go over and help move your neighbor, Ms. So and So's, couch, and your wife's armoire–she's been asking you to move to the bedroom since last summer–is still sitting in the garage. Women, don’t offer to bake your famous lemon pound cake for your boss, Mr. So and So, because it's his favorite, but not once think to bake one for your own husband. It's called a lack of consideration! I’m not saying you shouldn’t do for others, just make sure you’re taking care of business at home first.

     Men, contrary to popular belief… chivalry is not dead. My husband still opens doors for me and won't hesitate to give me the side-eye if I somehow forget to let him. Yes, we live in a society where women are more independent than ever before, but ladies, please let them be a gentleman for you if they’re willing to. It means they still have respect for a lady–something that is slowly declining in our society.

     My husband says it best. Familiarity is when you get a new car, you clean it constantly, you make sure no one leaves anything in it, you keep the tank filled, etc. But as time goes on, eventually, weeks go by before you even think about washing it. You drop fries and chicken bones in the seats. You leave trash on the floor. You get my point? You don’t even realize you’re doing it. Why? Because you’ve gotten comfortable and you start to take it for granted.

     Familiarity makes you think of someone or something as being common… and we never want to do that, especially with our mate. We should always hold them in high regard. We do it with everything in our lives; our stuff, our job, our loved ones, our worship, and, sadly, with God. When you notice yourself falling into this trap, regroup and ask those you've taken for granted and God for forgiveness and make it right.